today is bad... real bad
my biggest fear re-surfaced; a fear which I've been suppressing for years
i realize that no matter how optimistic I am, I'm unable to shake it off
what should i do now?
i'm really confused...
should I continue pretend that it is not present?

is there a medicine out there which will numb my feelings?

i think i need that badly now...

sighhh

too much tears today. i'm gonna sleep now and forget about it after tonight...