life is so unfair... well to be honest, life has never been fair
today is my first Halloween night in the States...
I should have gone partying with the others, but no, here I am, alone in this extraordinary quiet library mugging and rushing my maths homework which will be due in 2 hours time...
I hate maths, I really do!
Maths just drives me crazy.
I am certain I'm gonna flunk today's test!
well... i can't stand stand the thought of Erin having fun right now =(
I'm counting down to Thanksgiving day
I wanna get outta this town!!!!

OMG...
Miss Amy Chiew e-mailed me!!!!!!!!!!!!
wah hahahaha

头好晕
想哭但是哭不出来
好..好...好难受
我知道我不应该让沉重的心情影响明天的考试
但是我没办法释怀
放不下就是放不下
奇怪以前那潇洒的我跑去哪里了...
我并不晓得原来自己是这么的执着
也许我的决定是对的
也许尝试换个新环境对自己是种解脱...

i'm emotionally drained after wailing
i'm such a cry-baby

jingxuan:
thank you so much for sharing your problems with me
you never know how much it means to me...
we used to be really close when we were kids and i wonder what caused the strain in our relationship
many times we threw slurs and insults at each other and i remembered saying hurtful words to you
i wonder if you were ever hurt by my insensitive words but trust me, i never meant it, not a single word
both you and dingxuan are equally important to me
i've always yearn for a day when we will get closer, and share secrets and problems
i'm optimistic now
thanks for giving me this hope
i love you! i love everyone in the family!
papa said i always appear cold and emotionless, thats because i'm afraid to be emotional in front of people
i may never say these three words verbally, but right from the bottom of my heart, i love you all!

thank euuuu Joyce for Ella's single!!! i did not receive any hello pandas :(

i am upset by some of the contents on the letters
i'm not going to lie
don't tell me that changes are inevitable
cos i'm not going to believe it

Recently I'm hooked with a song - Fish Leong's 如果有一天!


I would like to dedicate this meaningful song to my good friend, Chuwee. Aww girl, I really hope you'll regain your laughter again. How I wish I could be by your side, talk to you and give you a big bear hug. Wipe off your tears and look positively into the future!

我最近是不是犯小人啊?
最近发生了太多莫名其妙的事了
搞到大家的关系变得莫名其妙的尴尬起来
如果时间能够倒转
我会用婉转的方式去解决这些莫名其妙的问题
怎么办啊???????
感叹丫...
我到底犯了誰阿???
怎麼一個個都那麼莫名奇妙!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
煩死了!!!!!

it has absolutely been an emo week with almost everyone around me feeling nostalgic for some apparent reasons and this sort of affect my mood indirectly too
apparently, i've confessed everything to her... And I mean everything, and the understatement is clear that i wish to have nothing to do with him, not now, not the future
on my part i know that my coldness is driving him crazy and i'm guilty at times, but i reassured myself that he deserves it
no matter what happens, my friends always surpass boys!
but... why did i sense a change in her attitude?
i hope i'm just being sensitive as always...
why can't i just lead a peaceful life here as I had back in SG?
sometimes, i'll wish to have my old life back, only sometimes
until last night when i had a nightmare...
i dreamt that i returned to SG for good, no more returning to Tucson
i had mourned and burst into tears in front of Mom and Dad, pleading them to send me back to the U.S.
i begin to realize that my 2 months here in Arizona has more or less impacted and changed my life entirely
despite the occasional depression which sets in unwittingly, i reckon i do not want my life to end here

Damn I miss speaking in Singlish..... I know I'm gonna sound weird speaking Singlish verbally the next time you guys meet me but pardon me for using all singlish in my writings 'cos i don't wanna lose my roots...

i wonder what siewtee is up to nowadays! i miss talking to you leh, siewtee baby! sometimes i've got the urge to dial your hp number, just to hear your 'oh-so-sweet' voice... WAIT A MINUTE... *PUKE*. Aiya you said you will meet me in skype but you bluff me de, right? Why not you go purchase an international phone card so we can chat long long, ok?

Joyce dearie, thank you so much for getting me Ella's single. Kao I really appreciate it man! You're like the only person who offers to get it for me lah... Lol! Guess what? I bought something for you too... Hee...something i know you'll definitely like it de!

Wahhh jo, you actually came across those Xinmin dudes wor! Haha... I came across a couple of them on facebook but I sort of miss our classmates too. Sighhh... sianzzz... remember those days we often headed to the bakery shop at Serangoon Bus Interchange? And those days I were so mad that your bus service 101 always came way before my 317. Haha...

Ah chiu, actually i've always meant to pose you a question de but always didn't get a chance to ask you. You don't expect me to sleep on the lovely pillow case, do you? 'Cos I'll definitely kena those glitters on my face the next morning loh. Haha... But the pillow case holds a sentimental value such that I place it right beside my bed so I can look at it every night before turning in. Lalala~

Juju, pai sei leh, I'm always caught up with my homework that I always neglected you in MSN. Get the girls to meet at a same time one day loh so we can all chat. It'll be more fun hor?
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funny pictures

mid-autumn festival - we're in the jumping castle



Erin's birthday
U of A Football game - taken long time ago...









arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh