This is a useful article on issues with insecurity.

adapted from iloveindia.com

How To Get Rid Of Insecurity

Insecurities stems from varied reasons, in different people. However, the fundamental reason behind insecurity is a lack of self-belief and confidence. An insecure mind constantly fears rejection and disapproval from others. Such a person ends up isolating him/her self from his/ her loved ones and becomes a loner. Your insecurities can easily ruin your relationships and prevent you from becoming a better person. Precisely for this reason, it is looked upon as the root of many troubles. The article dwells upon the subject of insecurity in people and comes up with some useful tips on how to get rid of it. Read on to overcome your insecurities and be a better person.

Tips To Overcome Insecurity

Think Positive

Positive thinking is the panacea for most of the conundrums of a human brain. A positive thinker is capable of conquering all of his/her fears. Thoughts that are positive in nature have an uplifting strength and can help you tackle your insecurities to quite an extent. Try to not assume things on other’s behalf. Being insecure equals being judgmental about yourself as well as the others around you. Be a positive thinker and don’t capitulate to your hidden fears.

Avoid Comparisons

When you compare yourself with others, you are generating an absolutely unnecessary competition that results in jealousy and then insecurity. Don’t fall for such traps and restrict yourself to healthy competition only. Jealousy is the root cause of insecurity, so stop comparing yourself with others. Be proud of what you are and don’t try to measure up to others. It will make you feel much better.

Fight Your Weaknesses

As humans, we are bound to have our weaknesses. Just remember that no one is perfect and it is difficult to achieve perfection. Don’t overwork yourself in search of excellence. If you know what your weaknesses are, try to correct them and make it a point not to constantly fret on your drawbacks. Rather, think of your strengths and evolve strategies to convert your weaknesses into your strengths. It will renew your confidence and make you a different human being.

Have Fun In Life

Relax and have fun in life. There is nothing like chilling out to treat an insecure mind. The purpose of life is to enjoy every approaching moment and it should not be lost in riddling yourself with your unfounded fears. It is necessary to contemplate the reasons behind your fears and insecurities; then take steps to get rid of them. However, life is too precious to bother about them continuously. So, don’t miss out on the excitement in your life.

Share Thoughts

The negative feelings that linger on your mind should be shared with your friends and close ones. Don’t suppress your feelings and let people, who matter to you, know why you are insecure. Sharing thoughts will let them understand your feelings better and find a remedy to your insecurity. There is no harm in being honest with people who truly care for you. So, open your heart out before the right person and find yourself much lighter than before.

Here is a blog post on my personal opinions on friendship and the friends I've met. No personal attacks or pin-pointing intended.

I used to be a socially awkward kid back in secondary school, and socially insecure too. It is true that I rather hid in the bathroom during recess breaks instead of eating alone in the canteen. It pleases me when a bff from secondary school pointed out that I've changed and never would I in my past would be able to go to movies alone. The change in me definitely attributes to the fact that I'm fending for myself in an alienated country now without anyone I can wholeheartedly trust. Friends to me, were important. They were my emotional support, they were the ones who make me see who I was and brought the greatest joy in my life. They completed my life! Now, the definition for friendship changes. Why? Is it because I'm so used to doing things myself, leading my own life that I don't see a need for any friendship support, that I'm no longer that socially awkward kid who is scared to be alone in a crowd? Or is it because there is no second Soso, or Siewtee in my life that I feel safe and comforting in their presence and the ease to be who I am and not afraid of being judged?

I was called anti-social by a couple of friends here in Tucson because they said I'm no longer the girl who party or is willing to hang out with them and THEIR friends. NO, I mean why would I wanna hang out with people I'm not comfortable with? And if going to bars or parties or chilling with their friends mean I'm sociable, then fine, I'm anti-social! The bottom line is, I don't enjoy hanging with those people so why should I?

I'm lonely here in Tucson. I'm always alone without any real friends. People would then remarked: "You deserve it!" Ok fine whatever!

Still, the knowledge that there are people who truly cares for me in Singapore is comforting. The occasional emails I received from a couple of real friends warm my hearts, even if my reply doesn't go to you immediately. The occasional conversations with some friends on MSN whom I haven't talk to in ages but they clearly shown that they know about my on-goings touches me.

I know who my real friends are. These are the people who truly cares and the friendship will certainly goes a long way while some friends are just meant to have fun with, or was there to kill time. For example, if I wanna visit a new restaurant but I'm ashamed of going there alone, I'll ask you cos I know you're in for the fun. However happy we chatted or hang out often, sorry to say there is always this barrier between you and me.

This is a comfort reply, to my (a third party) benefit. I find it meaningful as it serves as a constant reminder to me.

[嗯, 我覺得很能體會你的感覺.
我住在歐洲已經四年了, 而且我也是台南人喔~
(老鄉老鄉握握手)

時間和距離是很可怕的,
讓我們跟台灣的一切事物或多或少脫節了.
現在回去, 我也覺得大家關注的事情好像不太一樣,
而且就像你說的, 住國外其實沒那麼好玩啦!!
雖然在國外的時候明明就很想回台灣,
但是回台灣一陣子之後卻又會想逃回國外,
生活還真是矛盾的一回事.

可是, 像這種情況我們也只能調整自己的心態,
我們這些海外小朋友必須學會和寂寞相處,
人生就是必須要面對很多來來去去,
我想我們應該用更豁達或成熟的態度來處理吧!!
試著培養一些獨自一人也可以完成的興趣,
學習以更溫柔寬厚的方式去接受別人對我們的不了解,
這樣講可能太抽象了, 沒有建設性,
簡單講就是不要奢求做什麼都會有人陪囉~

自己躺在沙發上, 放著喜歡的音樂讀喜歡的書,
其實也可以是一種蠻不錯的享受,
旅行或逛街也未必一定要找到一個伴,
如果問我現在回台南自己一個人要做些什麼的話,
我想要很開心地去新天地瘋狂試穿血拼一番,
然後去安平買一杯同記豆花蹲在四草海岸邊吃邊等黃昏,
晚上回家把台灣那些白痴卻很好笑的綜藝節目看一輪,
睡前再很誇張地跟家人哈拉一些國外的生活瑣事.

有伴能玩的時候就瘋狂大膽地玩樂吧!!
那些美好的回憶會變成支持我們度過空虛很大的動力喔~
總有一天會找到讓自己快樂的方式的,
就當現在只是一個成長所必經的過渡期吧~]

- 康橋