everyday
i searched within my soul and seek for blitheness
but
all i could see is darkness
this couldn't be one of my great depression period again, could it?
but i haven't been demoralized for ages
why has it choose to return now?
i was told by a palm reader on my way to Boston that I'm a complicated person
i didn't exactly given much thought to it until recently
and i realized the apodictic of it
all along
my feelings have been complex
my severe mood swings usually brought me up on an emotional roller coaster ride
i laugh easily
yet
i cry even easily
i never wanna think of myself as being vulnerable
thus i rather put on a facade to conceal the real me
who truly understands me?
no one
do i ever really understand myself?
i guess not
can i ever get rid of the demon within me?
i dunno
can the old Baobao be brought back again?
i hope so....

i wanna regain my laughter, my silliness, my exuberance
i really do..........
but i'm still in the process of searching for the lost

i rather walk away quietly
than staying behind and feel left out