there is melancholy in the air; it follows me whereever i go; gradually, its taking my breath away. carrying my heavy heart and sullen eyes, i witness that my source of light dimmed with each passing day...

i hate the way i screwed everything up. i loathe the fact that the ogre in me is taking control of my heart and mind. i feel helpless. but right now, all i want is to stay out of everything, and away from everyone...

Joyce, I'm really sorry for not being able to go down with u today. I sincerely hope you'll forgive me... Gimme a chance and I'll make up for you.

---------------

I felt a moment of poignancy after reading the story of Joan Chan. Joan is haunted by a demonic disease at the age of 19, which was right after her A' levels examinations. Till today, she is struggling with her life. I cried. I feel for her. I couldn't help but put myself in her shoes and thereby realising what a torment she have to go through at my age. Her fighting spirit is admirable because I believe I would never be as strong as her. Imagine yourself living in uncertainty, knowing that death is just round the corner awaiting you. It gives me the creeps and shudders.

Every good children deserves to live healthily. But life is unfair. The good people are usually the foremost to be sent to God whereas the bad people could survive longer on Earth.

Though chances are slim, I still pray for Joan to conquer her illness.

Her story serves as a motivation to continue with my life. Whenever I'm feeling low, I'll check out her blog and I'll realise that I should be thankful to god for giving me everything.

Life is never perfect, however, I believe that contentment is the key to satisfaction.

Joan's blog - http://onlyskindeep.blogspot.com/
(from year 2003-end of 2004, her entries are simply records of the feelings and daily rants of a normal school girl. but from 2005 onwards, her life took a huge and unexpected turn which is completely heart-breaking. which normal teenager would have expected him or herself to involve in a straining battle with a life-taking disease???)

chants: ogre, orgre, go away! ogre, ogre go away! ogre, ogre go away! i hate you to the core!!! never come back!!