My blog has long been abandoned (poor thing) but I have not forgotten it. Amidst my busy schedule, I thought that maybe it is time for me to revive it. This is an excuse for me to vent my emotions and feelings. I haven't been very productive recently because I have been pestered by the pain on my shoulders and neck. The usual neck strain was supposed to go away in a few days yet my pain persisted for three days and it is preventing me from much studying. Hence, I decided to look up for tui na in Tucson and for the first time I actually spotted clinics that practices chinese medication and acupuncture. I went ahead and I experienced my first ever acupuncture by an inexperienced intern, count my luck, yet the pain didn't go away as it was supposed to so he called in his mentor. Finally, an experienced master, why he should have come in and cure me long ago. I just got back from the clinic, feeling slightly better but the strains still there. At least now I could turn my head to my left and right.

I had an ultimate goal that I have been working so hard towards it. It is something that I'm dying to achieve. It's not easy though as it requires me taking baby steps toward this ultimate goal. And I am sailing smoothly so far, everything is going according to plan. I thought I would be contented with my progress, but is it really? There is still something missing in me. My career path is peaking, thanks to all my hard work, and I see light in my future. But why do I feel so empty? I've been missing home again recently, and for a while, I thought, maybe I should ditch my goal and return to my security zone.

My finals will end in May 11th, and I will be flying to North Carolina on May 12th. It will definitely be fun exploring a new town which I have never been before and everything is sponsored by the company, from my flight to accommodation. However I'm feeling so stressed and nervous about this trip. Traveling alone is exciting and nerve-wrecking at the same time. And the training is so packed and stressful that I am afraid that I will not perform up to my manager's expectation. I'm not bubbly all the time, I'm shy and socially awkward. Yet I have to put up a fake me to suit this job. And fancy waking up at 4am to catch an early flight is not at all exciting...