I think it is kinda pathetic that I feel much happier and contented living in my idealist world of imagination as compared to reality. When it is true how much you get out of something depends on how much you put into something. I never fail to be genuine and helpful when people needed help but why do I feel unappreciated at the end? Is there something wrong with me or what? Why was I chuck aside when I am not needed? If this is the kind of superficial brotherhood I get out of it then honestly I'm no longer interested in cultivating this useless friendship... :(